What should (I do) now?

[inavalan]

What should (I do) now?

• "[... 7 paragraphs ...]
  
  There is much that you do not know regarding this kind of session, and the means to which it may be put. Ruburt has endeavored to speak to Pete and explain to him how his ability should be used and should not be used.
  
  He understands what Ruburt has told him, and I am certain that he will explain it well to you. Briefly however, psychic development should lead to overall personality development. It should not be used in order to make things easier in physical terms, though I understand indeed that this is a temptation, and an understandable one. Nevertheless, the fact remains that psychic development results in something else entirely. The person involved must then demand more of himself ...
  
  [... 2 paragraphs ...]
  
  Now, the love that binds you all is a close, sometimes open... (words missed again)...that which is too much for him at this time... (and again.)... This sort of session is not primarily to tell you what you should do, Stephen. It is not a means of helping you avoid decision, my good friend. The purpose of such a session is instead to help you develop, to grow in self-confidence and strength through making your own decisions.
  
  Now, the following is to Stephen. You are highly impetuous, and this can be to your advantage, and, also, as you must know, to your disadvantage. You have not asked me, Stephen, the right questions for you. It is not to your overall benefit that you continue as you have in many ways.
  
  [... 1 paragraph ...]
  
  Your particular personality is not helped if I should tell you what to do in the specific incidents that are requested. For you would not be strengthened, but you would be relying upon me; and any errors, dear friend, would also be laid to me.
  
  [... 1 paragraph ...]
  
  As to the balanced diet, I will say this: you are not eating evenly. There is at some times an overreliance upon one type of food, and then another. It is not good for you to lose so much weight, and many of your symptoms are directly connected with various deficiencies brought about through your diet. There should be a daily balance of nutrients.
  
  A balanced daily consumption of protein and carbohydrates, of meats and vegetables. 138 to 140 is the lowest you should go as far as your weight is concerned. Now, you may or may not take my advice as you prefer. In any case I have given it to you.
  
  Now, let us see further.
  
  Stephen, you should try relaxation techniques. You are overly nervous, partially as a result of your dietary deficiencies, and also by certain temperamental tendencies. You have fine qualities. You are not, however, using them to capacity now.
  
  You will grow as you make your own decisions. You must simply take my word for it, that it would be highly disadvantageous to your development if I told you what you should do now, and what steps you should take.
  
  [... 2 paragraph ...]
  
  Now, again to Stephen. Many of the things you want can indeed be obtained by you. If they are attained they will be attained through your own development and through the use of your own abilities.
  
  [... 1 paragraph ...]
  
  Any true success must come through your own efforts, for no other success has any meaning at all. When you have achieved reachable goals then you will have the strength and freedom to follow through, and ability to achieve goals that are more difficult. There is a dangerous tendency here that should be mentioned, and it is this: you must not blame others when you do not achieve your goals.
  
  [... 1 paragraph ...]
  
  Lose any bitterness that you may have toward others, for this bitterness is holding you back. The impetuous part of your nature can lead you to joy, and to spontaneous and intuitive understanding. There is a tendency, again, to lash out at others, and this should be restrained. Live every day to its fullest, and do not be a slave to your hopes for the future. If you do not learn to enjoy today you will not enjoy the future no matter what it may bring.
  
  You have perseverance and strength, and these are good qualities and should serve you well. The return to Australia is a family lullaby, a family hope, a family dream. If you are to return to Australia it will be through your own individual efforts, and not through a windfall nor a gift from heaven.
  
  Gifts from heaven are the results of individual spiritual developments, and if they are not then they only appear to be gifts. The fine qualities that you do possess should be used to aid you in making your own way. This is not unusual with you. This is the usual road for young men, and I have followed it myself many times.
  
  [... 5 paragraphs ...]
  
  Now. It is not easy, dear Stephen, at your age, nor indeed at any age, to hear words that you do not particularly want to hear.
  
  You have the intelligence and the intuition to realize that what I am telling you is for your own good. I could instead have told you what you wanted to hear. Had I done so I would have done you a grave disservice.
  
  You are misusing your body, for you are depriving it of necessary nutrients. You are not giving it what it needs. You are driving it too hard, and it is trying to tell you so. You must listen to its voice and return to your normal weight.
  
  [... 5 paragraphs ...]
  
  For many reasons this is not best for you, nor is it what you really want. But in working toward a goal that is very distant, a goal that will be extremely difficult for you to achieve, you feel subconsciously that you will be excused from failure; if you fail you can then say that it was because so many obstacles were in your way.
  
  [... 3 paragraphs ...]
  
  Now. You need not be afraid of failure, and this is your main difficulty. You have strength and ability that you do not realize you possess, and it will withstand you. You do not have to be afraid of testing yourself against attainable goals. You do not have to look for windfalls.
  
  You have your own abilities, and properly used they will lead to your own development and happiness. Remember, no one owes you anything, but you owe everything to yourself. Now if I sound like the old man from the mountain, so must it be. My heartiest good wishes to you however.
  
  [... 5 paragraph ...]
  
  Now this is only an impression. We will perhaps pursue it in a moment—a Denver connection, or a man's name... Dan, or the man will have a connection with Denver. This is a probability and not a frozen future, however. Now give is a moment. (Pause.)
  
  [... 2 paragraphs ...]
  
  Julie, Steve, and Pete—You should all read any books you can find concerning parapsychology and psychic phenomena. The more you read the more you will understand of Pete's ability, and the more indeed that you can develop your own abilities. For each individual has inner senses, whether or not he knows that he does, and these should be developed.
  
  [... 34 paragraphs ...]"
  
  —TES8 Session 359 August 7, 1967