Accepting life on it's own terms, revisited

[Deb]

As much as I've read so far, Seth has not contradicted himself. But this quote was brought up back in February and I'm still having trouble sorting out *you make your own reality vs. accepting life on it's own terms* so thought I'd revisit what I see as conflicting concepts.

Seth:
"You have not accepted life on life's terms. You are demanding that it behave in certain ways and take courses that you have consciously decided upon. You are refusing to accept life gladly, as its own reason and cause within you.

Recently this, as a part of a quote on affirmation, was posted on Facebook in Seth Network Australia:

"You do not have to say 'yes' to people, issues, or to events with which you are deeply disturbed. Affirmation does not mean a bland wishy-washy acceptance of anything that comes your way, regardless of your feelings about it.

"You go along with your life, understanding that you FORM your experience, emphasizing your ability to do so."  NOPR Session 672

Anyone?

[JimK]

I don't see a conflict, Deb. I don't think accepting "life on it's own terms" equates to accepting ego directed BS coming from others that may be on power trips, may be motivated by greed or whatever that's not in sync with the reality that you're creating. And can't forget that living life on it's terms is living it with the joy of being. That's just my take on it.

[LenKop]

For me the first thing that sticks out is 'life on ts own terms'. We'd have to have a definition of those terms before we could really decide if theres any conflicts. What are the terms of life? Are my terms different from yours? Is there a pre-birth contract that needs fullfilling? Just some questions that popped into my head...

LK

[Deb]

Yep.

I've bought the we-make-our-own-reality concept completely, understand how it works on many levels (I'm just not that good on the application at this point, lol). But that quote by Seth saying the person had not accepted life on it's own terms is what threw me into the bushes.

Life's own terms?

Maybe I'm overthinking this (wouldn't be the first time), but him saying "it's own terms" sounds to me like life (translation for me: my reality) comes with its own terms and there's only a certain amount of my own reality that I'm making. Not sure I'm explaining that in a way that can be understood. In the original quote, he was addressing a woman who was lonely, wanted to attract a partner, didn't want to be alone. But she could never get it right.

"The idea that you MUST find a man that will love you is a cover to hide this deeper refusal to accept life on life's terms. You are saying, 'Unless existence meets my terms, I will not exist,' and no one has the right to so set themselves against their own innate vitality.

It's the "unless existence meets my terms," that throws me off, because if we are making our own reality then our existence is on our terms, right?

While I won't be losing sleep over this, I hope to at some point understand it. 

[Monica]

It's the "unless existence meets my terms," that throws me off, because if we are making our own reality then our existence is on our terms, right?

My take on that is that there's a more profoundly aware 'me' than the level of consciousness I associate with my waking state and that my impulses come from that level and aid me in my choices and decision making. If I refuse to be happy or content unless my daily consciousness is satisfied by external reality - even if my daily consciousness holds beliefs that are incompatible with the true nature of reality - then it will be next to impossible to achieve the goal I seek, as the process will be incompatible with the consciously desired result.

Maybe it would be like a very religious person who refused to enjoy life when they believed that all around them was the evidence of moral failure and vice. They would refuse to accept that life might be 'OK' just the way it is and also reject the actual means of adjusting their perception and experience of external reality to something they would prefer, since those means would lie outside their accepted methods of reality 'creation'. That is, they'd want the world to change, in accordance with their existing beliefs, instead of investigating the true nature of reality and their place and purpose in that reality.

I wonder if the woman in the quote was basically trying to live up to social expectations by saying she wanted a partner and felt lonely without one, instead of finding her true sense of purpose in life and following a spontaneous path of experience. Maybe underneath she didn't really need or want a partner, but insisted on being unhappy, at not experiencing a socially acceptable life, instead of living in accordance with her own nature.

[JimK]

Hmm, conscious physical self holding beliefs that are incompatible with the inner self; result unfulfilled goals or expectations = unhappy emotions. And terms of life, I'm still equating with joy and vitality of being.

I think Monica is probably addressing it better than I can.

[Monica]

And terms of life, I'm still equating with joy and vitality of being.

I think that's a really good, solid baseline perspective!

I think Monica is probably addressing it better than I can.

Thanks, although I do think you're doing a fine job yourself!

[BethAnne]

"No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost and the skins as well; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins."  Mark2:22

I'm not a Bible thumper but some times verses seem to apply.  This is how I would answer this question.  Back in the day I make all the "correct" choices.  But a decade later nothing fit the real me...tho at that point I didn't know who that ME was, just that I was very unhappy.

I started having off the wall coincidences that made me realize that there was an Intelligence that was directing my life that was beyond my ability.  It was a scary point because I had to allow myself to go with a Flow that didn't make sense at the time and put me at odds with the people around me.

Sort of like a Singers gotta sing, an Artists has to paint  while your support system tells you how unrealistic that is.  Even if that system is your Mother's voice in your head!   

[JimK]

Sort of like a Singers gotta sing, an Artists has to paint  while your support system tells you how unrealistic that is.  Even if that system is your Mother's voice in your head!   

I like your observation about that BethAnne!!

[BethAnne]

Thank you Jim....as someone who has been carrying a box of dried up paints around for years!   

How many people live their lives according to what society deems right....parents, church, education.....Fox News!

I feel blessed that growing up I was unplugged from the media.  It hardly existed.  I took my cues from watching people around me, from nature and books/art.  I worry about my teenage granddaughter who has been plugged into a phone since she was 4. 

At this point in my life I'm beginning to realize that my generation has some responsibility to  Reflect Back the Old Ways.  :-)

[John Sorensen]

Yep.

I've bought the we-make-our-own-reality concept completely, understand how it works on many levels (I'm just not that good on the application at this point, lol). But that quote by Seth saying the person had not accepted life on it's own terms is what threw me into the bushes.

Life's own terms?

Maybe I'm overthinking this (wouldn't be the first time), but him saying "it's own terms" sounds to me like life (translation for me: my reality) comes with its own terms and there's only a certain amount of my own reality that I'm making. Not sure I'm explaining that in a way that can be understood. In the original quote, he was addressing a woman who was lonely, wanted to attract a partner, didn't want to be alone. But she could never get it right.

"The idea that you MUST find a man that will love you is a cover to hide this deeper refusal to accept life on life's terms. You are saying, 'Unless existence meets my terms, I will not exist,' and no one has the right to so set themselves against their own innate vitality.

It's the "unless existence meets my terms," that throws me off, because if we are making our own reality then our existence is on our terms, right?

While I won't be losing sleep over this, I hope to at some point understand it. 

I don't see any particular contradiction, but everyone is different.
My impressions on reading the sentence:
(with comments added in brackets)


"The idea that you MUST (outer directed belief/behavior/societal conditioning) find a man that will love you (I am not good enough to love myself, I AM not enough) is a cover to hide this deeper refusal (choosing to stay ignorant of ones inner self/vitality/goals/impulses) to accept life on life's (the life YOU are creating but refusing to enjoy because of false barriers set up by yourself to give you an excuse to justify being unhappy) terms. You are saying, 'Unless existence meets my terms, I will not exist,' (I refuse to feel good, or acknowledge my true wishes and feelings in life) and no one has the right to so set themselves against their own innate vitality (but you can choose to believe to think/feel/believe whatever you like and EXPERIENCE the consequences for as long as you wish to do so, you create your experience after all...it would be a violation of your free will to be forced to think or feel something other than what you chose for yourself...only you can choose differently...) ".

The contrast of the feelings experienced by the self sets up the possibility of the individual choosing to move towards what they want, and away from what they do not want in life. However the personality seems determined to not listen to nudges from their inner self, and to carry on with the pattern of being unhappy, justified by the outer problem of needing a man (a belief / material condition) to feel happy /satisfied / normal.


As Jim pointed out BEING needs no material condition for "happiness" as the nature of being is happiness, you could also the the word "self" or "overself" here in place of "Being" however Being also has its own unique bodily expression in human form, a resonance/vibration if you like that when unmolested gives a certain sparkle in your eye, and spring in your step as you move through life without any sort of "effort" or struggle. The joy of Being flows like a river eternally... unless you keep damning it up with nonsense beliefs and inventing new ways to feel shit.

I AM = not enough. (false belief)

To move from that to "I AM enough" or simply "I am" without any qualifier is a subtle pattern behind many feelings of shame, doubt insecurity, conformity etc.

Of course this is simplifying things, there may be as LenK said pre-life agreements, of course any individual is free to fulfill or ignore these agreements, but the impulses will be there, or at least the possibilities of choices not made will stay be in the background.

[BethAnne]

I got blindsided by a situation this last couple of days and it seems that it would fit in this thread.
I wrote somewhere else that this is the brokest I have ever been and had to get food stamps.  For one, in this very small town the only thing I was offered was midnights at 7-11.  Now, I'm not afraid to work but a midnight shift in a deserted town in winter when I'm dealing with a lot of other things just did not seem appealing.  I KNOW I will get a job in March...

So a few days ago there was an ad on Craigslist for a part time Nanny for a family moving to this area.  Perfect.  I applied and right away the person I was emailing said they felt I would be perfect for the job.  At a great wage.  While I don't mind going without extra cash because as an artist I've always got projects to finish my expectations rose considerably and I was making my list for my first paycheck.

The conversation continued and I got increasingly skeptical....which I ignored because at this point of my life nothing happens without a reason.  I couldn't see that I would have manifested anything but the perfect job.
Quickly however I realized this was a con job...something about providing a bank account for money to take care of "assignments". 

I was so creeped out and a bit hysterical (for me) as I tried to nail down why I had brought this into my life.  ?

One of the reasons I was putting off getting a job was because I had come back to this small town from Santa Fe to deal with nit picky things with my family....mother failing, new grandson and some other BS that I had been avoiding.  I dealt with a lot of lies that I was going to clear up.  I was pretty stressed out.

And the Point was....this was a perfect symbol of what I was dealing with.  My accumulated insecurity with what I was dealing with was reflected in this con job.  I had been trying to fluff over some of the situations because I didn't want to appear difficult.  Well!!  The Con was the last straw and I just could not delude myself any more.  Which led to quite the clearing of stale energy.   I feel tremendous relief and renewed vision.

To get these cons off my back I texted "Did I mention my brother was FBI and he is looking into this for me."  The Cons started backpedaling and  I doubt I'll be bothered any more.
My brother isn't FBI but a good friend is a cop so he is helping me.  The joke in these parts is that FBI stands for Fry Bread Instructor as I live along the Navajo Reservation.   

[JimK]

Good for you BethAnne!!!

[BethAnne]

Thanks Jim.   
You would think that as you progress down this Path things would get easier.  ??  You would think
But it seems it gets more complex and the stakes get higher and any thing out of balance goes crazy.

[Deb]

It's the "unless existence meets my terms," that throws me off, because if we are making our own reality then our existence is on our terms, right?

Tying up loose ends. I recently read something in Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth that sort of wraps this topic up for me.

"When this pattern [considering the present moment as only a means to get somewhere else] becomes more pronounced, and this is very common, the present moment is regarded and treated as if it were an obstacle to be overcome. This is where impatience, frustration, and stress arise, and in our culture, it is many people's everyday reality, their normal state. Life, which is now, is seen as a "problem," and you come to inhabit a world of problems that all need to be solved before you can be happy, fulfilled, or really start living—or so you think. The problem is: For every problem that is solved, another one pops up. As long as the present moment is seen as an obstacle, there can be no end to problems: 'I'll be whatever you want me to be,' says Life or the Now. 'I'll treat you the way you treat me. If you see me as a problem, I will be a problem to you. If you treat me as an obstacle, I will be an obstacle.'

"At worst, and this is also very common, the present moment is treated as if it were an enemy. When you hate what you are doing, complain about your surroundings, curse things that are happening or have happened, or when your internal dialogue consists of shoulds and shouldn'ts, of blaming and accusing, then you are arguing with what is, arguing with that which is always already the case. You are making Life into an enemy and Life says, 'War is what you want and war is what you get.' External reality, which always reflects back to you your inner state, is then experienced as hostile."

[Batfan007]

Thanks Jim.   
You would think that as you progress down this Path things would get easier.  ??  You would think
But it seems it gets more complex and the stakes get higher and any thing out of balance goes crazy.

I second that. Gotta play the hand you are dealt, but if we didn't know the rules we would not be playing the game in the first place.
Been nearly two years without proper employment for me, had bits there and there. My partner nearly kicked me out couple times due to financial strain.

[Batfan007]

It's the "unless existence meets my terms," that throws me off, because if we are making our own reality then our existence is on our terms, right?

Tying up loose ends. I recently read something in Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth that sort of wraps this topic up for me.

"When this pattern [considering the present moment as only a means to get somewhere else] becomes more pronounced, and this is very common, the present moment is regarded and treated as if it were an obstacle to be overcome. This is where impatience, frustration, and stress arise, and in our culture, it is many people's everyday reality, their normal state. Life, which is now, is seen as a "problem," and you come to inhabit a world of problems that all need to be solved before you can be happy, fulfilled, or really start living—or so you think. The problem is: For every problem that is solved, another one pops up. As long as the present moment is seen as an obstacle, there can be no end to problems: 'I'll be whatever you want me to be,' says Life or the Now. 'I'll treat you the way you treat me. If you see me as a problem, I will be a problem to you. If you treat me as an obstacle, I will be an obstacle.'

"At worst, and this is also very common, the present moment is treated as if it were an enemy. When you hate what you are doing, complain about your surroundings, curse things that are happening or have happened, or when your internal dialogue consists of shoulds and shouldn'ts, of blaming and accusing, then you are arguing with what is, arguing with that which is always already the case. You are making Life into an enemy and Life says, 'War is what you want and war is what you get.' External reality, which always reflects back to you your inner state, is then experienced as hostile."

I love eckharts audios, so good. Listened to on repeat for many months. That quote sums up his teachings on  "Resistance to WHAT IS" very well.