On leaving a Seth forum

Started by Sena, July 28, 2021, 03:16:54 AM

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Sena

People may leave a Seth forum for a variety of reasons:

(1) A few years ago there was an intelligent member of this forum who was very hot on meditation. He may have left because Seth does not emphasize meditation.

(2) Some may leave because they are extremely busy with other things. That's fine, a personal choice.

(3) If someone leaves because they hate the forum, or hate one or more individuals on the forum, that is a rather sad situation. This is Seth on the issue of hate:

"The man who literally hates, immediately sets himself up in this fashion: He prejudges the nature of reality according to his own limited understanding. Now I am emphasizing the issue of hate in this chapter on reincarnation because its results can be so disastrous." (from "Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul (A Seth Book)" Chapter 12, by Jane Roberts)

https://amzn.eu/fo7t3zQ

I love this forum, and I am not leaving!
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Deb

Hi Sena, thanks for this topic. The title scared me!  ;D I'm glad you like it here.

I could also add some people leave because they lose interest in the Seth materials, or were not that interested to begin with, or they feel all their questions have already been answered.

Of course there are some personality clashes as well. Great quote from Seth Speaks!

I also think some people just don't enjoy writing. On the other Seth forum, their member participation is way down because the members would rather communicate in their Facebook group, which is very popular. On Facebook, people can be anonymous and less committed. Seth Lite. A lot more people are reached. But it's harder to find older posts, so it's more of a here-today-gone-tomorrow news feed than the repository I consider SoS to be.
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usmaak

Other reasons I've seen/experienced over the years:

1. The forum isn't what the member thought it would be.
2. Too many threads go off-topic.
3. Too many of the discussions have nothing to do with the topic of the forum.
4. Members pushing their own ideas/agenda too hard.
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Sena

#3
Quote from: usmaak
Other reasons I've seen/experienced over the years:

1. The forum isn't what the member thought it would be.
2. Too many threads go off-topic.
3. Too many of the discussions have nothing to do with the topic of the forum.
4. Members pushing their own ideas/agenda too hard.
usmaak, thanks for your observations. Those four conditions could result in some members "hating" the forum, but the Seth quote in my original post seems to refer to personal rather than impersonal hate.

usmaak

This thread just seemed a little out of the blue to me.  I am not sure if there are things going on here (aka interpersonal issues) of which I'm unaware.  That's by design, of course.  I tend to not notice things like that. 

So I just listed some of the reasons why I've left forums over the years.  I've left many over the years.  Mostly for the reasons I listed.  Hate is a strong word.  For me, they just served no purpose.
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Deb

#5
Quote from: usmaak
This thread just seemed a little out of the blue to me.  I am not sure if there are things going on here (aka interpersonal issues) of which I'm unaware.  That's by design, of course.  I tend to not notice things like that. 

So I just listed some of the reasons why I've left forums over the years.  I've left many over the years.  Mostly for the reasons I listed.  Hate is a strong word.  For me, they just served no purpose.

Good, to me that means you're not oversensitive. As far as I know, there's nothing new going on here on the forum. I took Sena's post as a delayed reaction to the most recent flare up which resulted in two members deleting their accounts on the same day.

I've signed up for and left forums myself, usually because I was curious and then decided they were not a good fit. Or I had one question to ask, and got my answer. No hate or anger involved. No drama of deleting my account or any of my posts.

Yes hate is a strong word. There have been members who left this forum in the past because of some sort of conflict with one other member, which always bothers me. Throwing out the baby with the bath water. Which is why I added this to the forum T&C:

Quote from: Deb
Also understand that I, as Admin, cannot always predict, prevent or control what people are going to say or do and so I usually have to mitigate problems that come up after the fact.

I also cannot predict how someone is going to react or over-react to something that was said. As an adult you should know that we all have our personal triggers and sensitivities, and something a person writes may trigger a defensive reaction in one person while others don't see it as being offensive at all. If you feel you are being intentionally attacked or offended by someone or a post, please report the post or contact me directly and privately in a Personal Message.

And yet I nearly did the same thing myself, when the forum went silent and the two most contributing members were criticizing other members for not being... enough. I've always been a champion of the underdog. Say what you want about me, but attack my peeps and the claws come out. I learned something about myself that day.

Interesting in your list about going off topic too much. I've seen that in tech support forums, but some members here seem to feel sticking to the topic is too confining. I'm fine with the wandering to an extent, I think this forum has a life of its own and so don't want to try to control it so much.
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usmaak

Quote from: Deb
Interesting in your list about going off topic too much. I've seen that in tech support forums, but some members here seem to feel sticking to the topic is too confining. I'm fine with the wandering to an extent, I think this forum has a life of its own and so don't want to try to control it so much.

Right.  I just don't participate in topics that don't interest me.  If a thread that I'm on wanders into territory that I don't want to go to, I just leave it alone. :)

Sena

#7
Quote from: Deb
Interesting in your list about going off topic too much. I've seen that in tech support forums, but some members here seem to feel sticking to the topic is too confining. I'm fine with the wandering to an extent, I think this forum has a life of its own and so don't want to try to control it so much.
Deb, it is very difficult to go off topic on a Seth forum because the Seth teachings cover almost all aspects of life. There is a saying, "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." We can say, "When a man is tired of Seth, he is tired of life." Seth had quite a lot to say about science, but not much about mathematics or gardening.

Sena

Quote from: usmaak
Hate is a strong word.
usmaak, yes it is a strong word, and it is interesting that Seth emphasizes it. I found this article on the neurobiology of hatred:

"Neurobiologist Semir Zeki, of University College London's Laboratory of Neurobiology, led a study last year that scanned the brains of 17 adults as they gazed at images of a person they professed to hate. Across the board, areas in the medial frontal gyrus, right putamen, premotor cortex and medial insula activated. Parts of this so-called "hate circuit," the researchers noted, are also involved in initiating aggressive behavior, but feelings of aggression itself—as well as anger, danger and fear—show different patterns in the brain than hatred does.

Certainly loathing can spring from positive feelings, such as romantic love (in the guise of a former partner or perceived rival). But love seems to deactivate areas traditionally associated with judgment, whereas hatred activates areas in the frontal cortex that may be involved in evaluating another person and predicting their behavior."

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-origin-of-hatred/

Deb

Quote from: usmaak
Right.  I just don't participate in topics that don't interest me.  If a thread that I'm on wanders into territory that I don't want to go to, I just leave it alone.

Makes sense to me. I do that too.

Quote from: Sena
Deb, it is very difficult to go off topic on a Seth forum because the Seth teachings cover almost all aspects of life. There is a saying, "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." We can say, "When a man is tired of Seth, he is tired of life." Seth had quite a lot to say about science, but not much about mathematics or gardening.

Good point. I enjoy how most of the topics here vine off into other areas and then come back to the main idea. I feel that contributes to the richness of topics.

Seth (and even Seth II!) talked quite a bit about the relationship between love and hate.

Seth DID use gardening analogies quite a bit, and his happy little flowers pop up here and there. I thought the quote below fit in well with the idea of hatred, as the SciAm article brought "neurons that fire together, wire together" to mind. I imagine the more a person indulges in negative thinking, the more it becomes a habit for neurological reasons. Which explains to me why there are some people who are perpetually angry.

"Now. It is hard for me to tell you that you are a merry rose in a happy garden (to Florence. Laughter from the class.) You only see the thorns. It is hard for me to remind you of the seriousness—and yet of the joy of your existence. And that is why I told our friend that his humor could be his salvation. A child discovers many truths in play and so can you—if you allow yourselves the freedom of spontaneous mental and psychic play. Also because of the mechanics involved, I cannot dance like your Tiny Tim, "through the tulips." (Laughter from the class.) But I do beseech each of you to look within yourselves for that joy that is your own—and to accept it. It is not that the joy is not present, but that you refuse to acknowledge it. Now. I admit that I sound old and ponderous—and yet, I would go tip-toeing through the tulips—and not feel a loss of dignity—nor worry about who saw me."
—TECS2 ESP Class Session January 13, 1970
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Sena

#10
Quote from: Deb
Seth DID use gardening analogies quite a bit,
Deb, so the only way we could go off topic is by posting on mathematics?

On a more serious note, I suppose someone may decide to leave the forum if he or she is clinically depressed. i recall that during the past year there was a young member from Brazil who posted about his depression and got better. Someone who does not feel able to share their feelings at all is in a more serious situation.
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raz

Quote from: Deb on July 28, 2021, 06:58:43 AMHi Sena, thanks for this topic. The title scared me!  ;D I'm glad you like it here.

I could also add some people leave because they lose interest in the Seth materials, or were not that interested to begin with, or they feel all their questions have already been answered.

Of course there are some personality clashes as well. Great quote from Seth Speaks!

I also think some people just don't enjoy writing. On the other Seth forum, their member participation is way down because the members would rather communicate in their Facebook group, which is very popular. On Facebook, people can be anonymous and less committed. Seth Lite. A lot more people are reached. But it's harder to find older posts, so it's more of a here-today-gone-tomorrow news feed than the repository I consider SoS to be.

Yea , i took a look at the facebook forum , but i am not a big fan of facebook's layout for any facebook page, it seems difficult to navigate , or like you say , find old posts and stuff , and it generally seems like its just all over the place , like the page has a small field of view or something , forums like these seem much more intuitive to navigate.

Deb

Hi Raz, welcome and thanks for joining the forum! I've been distracted for the past couple of days with technical stuff involving the hosting here (and more), so have not had time to keep up. I see that you've posted a bit today and just wanted to let you know that it's not gone unnoticed and tomorrow I'll catch up.

I still avoid Facebook as much as I can. I have to keep a presence there because of this forum and the Seth Research Project, but I'd really like to talk about Seth here with people and avoid the FB fluff.  ;D

More tomorrow!
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LenKop

...or a member creates a new reality where a forum isn't particularly necessary for a time...

Hang on, isn't that what happens every time, to everyone?  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D


Great to see everything's still working here at SOS and not everything has been taken over by the dreaded Social Media.

it's been a while for me, I hope everyone is well.

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Sena

Quote from: LenKop on April 22, 2022, 03:55:08 AMit's been a while for me, I hope everyone is well.
LenKop, it's nice to see a post from you.

strangerthings

@LenKop

Heyyy!!

Great seeing you again!

Yayy new reality!

Deb

@LenKop thanks so much for stopping by! Would love to hear what you've been up to.


LenKop

A lovely warm re-welcome...as usual.

I guess I moved from the forum due to wanting to live it more than just write/read about it. I follow some Seth stuff on FB, but again, every time i read it i find myself asking whether i'm applying it or not. That even goes toward the Seth material itself. I think I'm finally realizing that the ultimate understanding of creating one's reality is to put down the books and go forth and bear witness to it in your own life.

Being a musician, and having given thousands of piano lessons over the last twenty years, I've come to appreciate that I'm successful at my job when my student doesn't need me anymore (not a great business model, I know  ;D ) and maybe not needing Seth anymore is the ultimate lesson of the Seth material.

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Deb

That makes perfect sense. We did miss you though. ;D It's nice to know you're doing well and I hope you continue to check in once in a while.
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