Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

[inavalan]

People crave the feeling of importance. Make someone feel important and they will think well of you. Diminish someone's importance and they will resent you.

Appeal to the other person's interests. Virtually all people care more about what they want than what you want.

You wouldn't go fishing with cheesecake as a lure, since fish don't like cheesecake. Go fishing with worms.

Keep asking yourself - "what is it that this person wants?"

[Deb]

All good advice. Feed the ego. They should change the title of the book to How to Manipulate People.   Seems like a lot of work, at this point in life "I gotta be me... 🎶"

[inavalan]

@Deb

It's likely that Carnegie's intention was to teach us to manipulate others for our gain, but when I read those quotes I thought from another perspective. I thought from the perspective of desiring to experience positive emotions, which requires positive interactions with other people, which in turn requires forming on my side of enabling beliefs about them, and about how I should act towards them.

Read from this perspective, I should apply the "theoretical" views about reality that I already formed, which means I should intuitively create the relationship, instead of reacting based on my emotions triggered by what I perceive to be others' negative attitude.

Surely, I shouldn't apply it indiscriminately, but I should choose whom I care to keep in my reality, and whom I shouldn't.

This isn't about manipulating others, because I can't do it, as everybody creates their own reality according to their beliefs and expectations. The most difficult part in our quest for evolvement, for example by deciphering the Seth Material, is to change our perspective from the way we were educated / hypnotized into seeing reality. In many / most cases it seems that we have to look at everything almost from the opposite perspective.