Mind your hypotheticals ...

[inavalan]

An American enters a pet shop and sees a parrot having strings tied on each leg. He asks the shopkeeper:
- What are those two strings for?
- If you pull the string tied to his left leg, the parrot speaks English.
- Wow!
- And if you pull the string tied to his right leg, the parrot speaks French.
- Really?? What if you pull both strings at the same time?
As the shopkeeper looks puzzled, the parrot replies:
- I'm falling on my ass, you moron!