Writing as career choice? and probable selves

[BeeBee]

Hi,
I´m new to this forum, and I´m starting off with a very long question...
I hope it´s OK to do that! I´m very grateful for help.

I have always wanted to be a writer (as in author/poet, not journalist), however, I never dared think I could make it, I thought one had to be a kind of Karen Blixen storyteller with millions of stories pouring out, and I wasn´t like that, so I just wrote for myself, periods of months and months of ecstatic frenzy for many years, but then I also forced myself to NOT write for long periods of time, to sort of strangle the source, because I felt lonely, no-one I knew was interested in literature and poetry in the same way as I was, so it thought it would be an easier life for me to NOT have this passion. (This was before the Internet of today where there are writers groups and courses and forums everywhere.)
So I had jobs that I never really cared about, and never dared listen to myself.
Then gradually I became more and more ill, until I was almost in a state of coma in bed for two years, then gradually getting out of bed and back to life through the next three years, by hard work every day. A great revelation for me just before I fell into «coma» was that I HAVE to write. I think part of the reason that I got so ill is that in short: I had denied myself being me.
So these last years I have been writing again, when I have had the strength, and it has been a huge joy for me. and to know; now I have something to write about, I have a story to tell, I have something to structure my creativity around.
So: the illness itself served a purpose.

(This is of course my «story» written in 3D-language and in linear time.)

Then I discovered Seth. And I´m confused. If I write about my experience of going through and recovering from illness, then that is the reality I choose to stay in, then that´s the past and present and future I´m building from ...? Will I get ill again for a periode of time (or long time?) because all my probable selves that are connected to illness will flourish when I write about being ill!?...

So: Instead of thinking that I can now live a good life which includes writing my story, writing my story is actually harmful to me?
Should I rather sit in my bed and work on changing the past so that I was never ill, and trust that this will provide a good life for me?
Or can I tell myself that, yes, I am writing this story, but it is not my reality anymore, it is not my past, it is just something I´m writing?

It is probably important to say that my style of writing is creative and poetic and humorous, so the way I´m telling the story is not one of dry, hopeless suffering, but always with a humorous twist. Writing makes me so happy, I feel at home when I write.
And I feel safe and excited in life when I think about myself as a writer.

But if I change the past, so that I was never ill ... then I´m back to square one were I don ´t have a story to tell.
Do you understand my dilemma?

I could of course (?) ask my higher self for inspiration so that I will have something to write anyway. Or I could ask to attract a timeline where I´m already a published writer... Could I? (How would that work?)
But I don ´t feel secure about these options, as I don´t really know what they entail.

Or can I write my story and then later recreate the memories to that I was not ill, so that my published book then will be fiction, and the illness not affect me? Or will my book then «disappear» from me? (Does it work that way concretely?)

I have read Seth for about 1,5 years  so there are of course a lot I haven´t read and understood yet.
It seems to me that very experienced Seth-readers and practitioners do not even understand what I´m asking about, and they don´t know how to reply or they don´t want to reply, all they say is «you create your own reality» and «the point of power is now».
But that doesn´t help, I feel.

I will be so happy if someone could help me with my questions, even if I´m not asking in the correct way, since I´m using linear time. ...
But I mean, we must be allowed to ask questions in linear time/«Earth language» when we are trying to understand the Seth material, no? Even Seth speaks «Earth language» when he talks through Rupert, so that we can begin to understand.

This was very long, I´m sorry about that. Hope it´s OK.

I am ever so grateful for help

[Dandelion]

I'm going to give you a quick answer for now and will think about what you are saying and asking in your post in order to respond more fully.

My answer is write.  And the reason why you should is

Writing makes me so happy, I feel at home when I write.
And I feel safe and excited in life when I think about myself as a writer.

Because of your various concerns and doubts, initially you might want to focus on positive things when you write--your current successes, your happiness with what's happening now, on the new opportunities that are opening up, the new understanding that you're acquiring.  This will help you consolidate and build on what's working in your life.  And even if it's not something you'll ever be able to publish, the practice in expressing yourself using the written word will make you a better writer.

You have plenty of stories to tell.  You've just been focusing on a single one because it's so dramatic, so impactful in your life.  Not only that, a writer doesn't just write only what they know.  Writing is a way to stretch oneself, to expand one's perspective, to learn more about oneself.

[BethAnne]

Because of your various concerns and doubts, initially you might want to focus on positive things when you write--your current successes, your happiness with what's happening now, on the new opportunities that are opening up, the new understanding that you're acquiring.

I totally agree with Dandelion's answer.  I understand your concern.  But this is part of who you are.  You would go crazy denying a piece of yourself.  But like she said, focus on how that made you a strong person adding energy to the SuperWoman that you are becoming.

I think where you would get hung up is if your medical issues were who you are and we all know someone like that where their focus is on their sadness and illness.

Keep throwing stuff out there for us to ponder.  I think we all grow as we learn about eachother.
And Welcome
Beth

[Sena]

Then I discovered Seth. And I´m confused. If I write about my experience of going through and recovering from illness, then that is the reality I choose to stay in, then that´s the past and present and future I´m building from ...? Will I get ill again for a period of time (or long time?) because all my probable selves that are connected to illness will flourish when I write about being ill!?...

BeeBee, welcome to the forum. No, you will not get ill if you write about illness. That is not my understanding of the Seth teachings at all. What matters is your intention in writing about illness. Your intention is to help others by showing them how to overcome illness. The universe will help you if that is your intention.
I wish you well with your writing career.

[Deb]

Hi BeeBee, first off, welcome to the forum and thanks for joining us! And thank you for taking the time to write out your questions and concerns.

You have a LOT of great questions, I'm glad that Dandelion, BethAnne and Sena were able to jump right in. They have a lot of wisdom. I have to agree that you should write. The fact that it makes you happy is the first big clue. If something makes you happy, you're on the right track. A lot of people don't even know what makes them happy.

I understand your dilemma with what/how you should write ~your~ story, coming from a Seth perspective. It seems to me that yes, your illness served a purpose, but also your story has a happy ending in that you were able to pull yourself out of a nose-dive and are now recovering. Maybe by sharing your story, you can help others heal themselves. And with your poetic and humorous writing style, you could be reaching many by making your story more enjoyable and easy to relate to. So in this case, maybe trying to change your past would be counterproductive. If we all set up our circumstances before we come into each particular existence, then you chose your situation for a reason. If you have time, you may want to look over this topic about why things happen, where altruism comes into play.

Have you read Anita Moorjani's book, Dying to be Me? Definitely worth reading (I've listened to the audio version 3 times!). A truly inspirational story and she's made an amazing career based on her own astounding recovery. She helps SO many people and has not had any further health issues related to the telling of her story. She writes in a voice that's very easy to relate to, with humor. And my guess is there's a probable life of hers where she was never ill, another where she died, and the one she wrote about where she was ill and had a miraculous recovery.

There was a lot to ponder and respond to in your post. I'll read it again, more than once, and will make more comments if anything else comes to me.

[JimK]

Hi BeeBee and welcome to SOS. I definitely second Deb's post. Write and be Happy. Write from your inner self and write your truth. There's definitely others waiting to hear it whom it will help. Thank you!!

[BeeBee]

Thank you so much all of you for taking the time to read my long post and giving such thoughtful and positive! :)replies. It means so much to me. You are so kind.

Dandelion, thank you so much, and if you have even more to say later, I´m all ears, curious to learn. (I agree that we all have plenty of stories to tell. I think for me this is my «opening story», which will be part of my education in learning how to write and put together a whole book. Later, other stories will open up.)

BethAnne, I agree
I feel totally safe, free and happy health wise, both physically and mentally, so I feel that even though I´m writing about illness, there is no bitterness or anger. There is sorrow, of course, but that is part of the human experience.

Sena - yes, the intention in writing. Spot on! Thanks!

Deb - that changing the past can actually be counterproductive, that is so interesting. I will read the post about altruism and check out Moorjani´s book, thank you so much for these tips. (What a great title:) I really believe that we help each other. It also gives a good feeling of purpose and worth beyond oneself.

JimK - thank you!

——-

I think maybe I should mention this as well ...:
The only part of the story that I am very sad about, is that when I was partially in a state of coma, I could ´t really see my son, who was just born. So that´s of course a part of the story. I could not really be there for him the first 2-3 years of his life (other than breastfeeding, for hours and hours on end, which is of course worth more than gold, but still).
That is also why it has been a consolation to me that I can write this story. Help myself and help others. To put it into words is cathartic, it frees me, I think. And if it frees me, than it also helps my son, I think.

I have asked myself to dream about him and me being together when he was that age, so that memories that we don´t have (in this timeline) will fill in and repair the sorrow. I trust this to be a good way to do it, to heal both of us. But dwelling on it makes me sad, so my focus is always NOW. Him and me now, which is just the purest bliss imaginable.
However I also think I need to deal with the sorrow, otherwise it will be like burying the emotions, and Seth would ´t like that
(If this way of thinking about filling in memories is not a good way to do it, and anyone has knowledge about better ways to repair sorrow, I would be happy to hear it.)

So I´m adding info and making this whole post more complicated maybe.
But I trust that writing is still ok to do, instead of changing the past, the intention in writing.

Thanks again.
(Future posts from me will certainly not be as long and complicated! I hope all my personal questions can help others in here too.)

[Sena]

So that´s of course a part of the story. I could not really be there for him the first 2-3 years of his life (other than breastfeeding, for hours and hours on end, which is of course worth more than gold, but still).

BeeBee, it's great that you were able to breastfeed your son. You would also have been communicating with him telepathically, although you may not be conscious of that at the moment. I recall reading in one of the Seth books that children would never develop language if not for the telepathic communications from their parents and others.

[BeeBee]

Thant´s wonderful. Thank you, Sena. I feel very reassured now.

[BethAnne]

I could ´t really see my son, who was just born. So that´s of course a part of the story. I could not really be there for him the first 2-3 years of his life

What an interesting spin to your story...and hugs to you. 
Seth understandings may help you find the story behind your Story. 

[Dandelion]

I considered myself still a beginner when it comes to understanding and applying the Seth concepts, so all the different viewpoints here on this board have been really helpful to me.  Sometimes when dealing with issues, we become too narrowly focused on them.  Hearing other people's perspectives can help one step back and look at the big picture.  Most questions are asked from a narrow (and often negative) focus; most answers are found in the big picture.

But not all questions need to be answered, only the important ones.  Others simply drop away because they're no longer relevant as you grow in understanding.  Questions are like the beam of a flashlight.  In any new situation you have lots of questions, which is the equivalent of waving your flashlight all around to help you get oriented.  After that, you start examining individual objects, which are all the answers.  As the light falls upon different objects/answers, there will be some that have no attraction or meaning to you, while others you'll want to explore more fully.  The answers you explore will raise new questions.  It's the questions that guide you on your path more than the answers.  Questions tell you what you're interested in, what you want to know more about.

Something really helpful that Seth said was that when one first begins to explore the concept that you create your own reality, it can actually make you feel worse.  The idea that you've done all these terrible things to yourself can be upsetting and unpalatable, plus there's the worry that you'll either repeat them or create new problems if you're not really careful.  But as you more fully understand and appreciate all the implications of the concept, you start feeling much better and stronger because by taking responsibility for your reality, you're taking back your power.

The way writing makes you feel means that writing is a natural way you express yourself and should not be blocked, even if you only write for yourself.  If it's done solely for self-expression or as a catharsis, then journaling and perhaps poetry might be best.  But if your intention is to share your story with others, then it will be most effective if it comes from a position of strength, clarity, and integrity.  JimK's comment, "Write from your inner self and write your truth." is excellent advice.  And both the Seth information and the writing process itself can help you discover your truth, achieve clarity, and recognize your strength.

[Batfan007]

Hi,
I´m new to this forum, and I´m starting off with a very long question...
I hope it´s OK to do that! I´m very grateful for help.

I have always wanted to be a writer (as in author/poet, not journalist), however, I never dared think I could make it, I thought one had to be a kind of Karen Blixen storyteller with millions of stories pouring out, and I wasn´t like that, so I just wrote for myself, periods of months and months of ecstatic frenzy for many years, but then I also forced myself to NOT write for long periods of time, to sort of strangle the source, because I felt lonely, no-one I knew was interested in literature and poetry in the same way as I was, so it thought it would be an easier life for me to NOT have this passion. (This was before the Internet of today where there are writers groups and courses and forums everywhere.)
So I had jobs that I never really cared about, and never dared listen to myself.
Then gradually I became more and more ill, until I was almost in a state of coma in bed for two years, then gradually getting out of bed and back to life through the next three years, by hard work every day. A great revelation for me just before I fell into «coma» was that I HAVE to write. I think part of the reason that I got so ill is that in short: I had denied myself being me.
So these last years I have been writing again, when I have had the strength, and it has been a huge joy for me. and to know; now I have something to write about, I have a story to tell, I have something to structure my creativity around.
So: the illness itself served a purpose.

(This is of course my «story» written in 3D-language and in linear time.)

Then I discovered Seth. And I´m confused. If I write about my experience of going through and recovering from illness, then that is the reality I choose to stay in, then that´s the past and present and future I´m building from ...? Will I get ill again for a periode of time (or long time?) because all my probable selves that are connected to illness will flourish when I write about being ill!?...

So: Instead of thinking that I can now live a good life which includes writing my story, writing my story is actually harmful to me?
Should I rather sit in my bed and work on changing the past so that I was never ill, and trust that this will provide a good life for me?
Or can I tell myself that, yes, I am writing this story, but it is not my reality anymore, it is not my past, it is just something I´m writing?

It is probably important to say that my style of writing is creative and poetic and humorous, so the way I´m telling the story is not one of dry, hopeless suffering, but always with a humorous twist. Writing makes me so happy, I feel at home when I write.
And I feel safe and excited in life when I think about myself as a writer.

But if I change the past, so that I was never ill ... then I´m back to square one were I don ´t have a story to tell.
Do you understand my dilemma?

I could of course (?) ask my higher self for inspiration so that I will have something to write anyway. Or I could ask to attract a timeline where I´m already a published writer... Could I? (How would that work?)
But I don ´t feel secure about these options, as I don´t really know what they entail.

Or can I write my story and then later recreate the memories to that I was not ill, so that my published book then will be fiction, and the illness not affect me? Or will my book then «disappear» from me? (Does it work that way concretely?)

I have read Seth for about 1,5 years  so there are of course a lot I haven´t read and understood yet.
It seems to me that very experienced Seth-readers and practitioners do not even understand what I´m asking about, and they don´t know how to reply or they don´t want to reply, all they say is «you create your own reality» and «the point of power is now».
But that doesn´t help, I feel.

I will be so happy if someone could help me with my questions, even if I´m not asking in the correct way, since I´m using linear time. ...
But I mean, we must be allowed to ask questions in linear time/«Earth language» when we are trying to understand the Seth material, no? Even Seth speaks «Earth language» when he talks through Rupert, so that we can begin to understand.

This was very long, I´m sorry about that. Hope it´s OK.

I am ever so grateful for help

Nothing and no-one can stop you fulfilling your hearts desire.
Nothing can stop you from writing.
Whether you make money from it, or do it as a hobby (that's what I do) is another matter entirely.
But the capacity and choice to write is to listen to the song of your own heart and accept no excuses.
March forward boldly no matter your choice.

[BethAnne]

[Deb]

I thought this was interesting timing: an online course "Heal Yourself with Writing" from Daily Om. They have set prices for their online courses, usually around $20-$25, but there's some flexibility. For this one you can choose to pay only $10.
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courseoverview.cgi?cid=83&aff=92&ad=2016041309&img=8